Slips of the tongue:

Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
House passes gas tax onto senate
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Farmer bill dies in house
Iraqi head seeks arms

Grammar botches:
Eye drops off shelf
Squad helps dog bite victim
Dealers will hear car talk at noon
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
Miners refuse to work after death
Two Soviet ships collide--one dies
Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

Stating the obvious:
If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
War dims hope for peace
Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Cold wave linked to temperatures
Child's death ruins couple's holiday
Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
Man is fatally slain
Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

Advertisement: The most truthful part of a newspaper.

The following are ads from a real-life newspaper which appeared four
days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first
day's mistake.

MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone
948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in R.D. Jones' ad yesterday.
It should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707
and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M."

WEDNESDAY: Notice: R.D. Jones has informed us that he has received
several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the
classified ad. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale -- R.D.
Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7
P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him."

THURSDAY: Notice: I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I
smashed it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I
have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper but she quit!
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (316:36/20)