......... as a public service for all harried sysops, is a
standard disclaimer form, much like the "fine print" at the
bottom of an automobile commercial:

This BBS is an "as-is" service. Neither the sysops, the school
district, the Pope, Rush Limbaugh, or God HIMSELF will be held liable if
the BBS does any of the following: Crashes, shuts down with or without
warning, decides it doesn't like you, smokes profusely, makes that
"chk-chk" noise like a broken washing machine, shoots sparks, causes a
total nuclear holocaust, spins around several times and vomits pea soup,
gives off "Bad Vibes," plays "Daisy" repeatedly, steals your boyfriend/girlfriend, falls in love with and begins humping your floppy
disk drive, or spontaneously combusts.

Do not operate heavy machinery after using this BBS. This BBS may
cause drowsiness, dizziness, heart palpitations, shortness of breath,
angina, temporary blindness, loss of consciousness, seizures, skin
rashes, nausea, vomiting, the involuntary playing of Elvis songs,
bloating, water retention, and/or spontaneous transformation into small woodland forest creatures. We are not responsible for emotional damage resulting from use of this BBS. Repeated and prolonged usage may cause paranoia, confusion, feelings of despair or ebullience, or a "Bad Hair
Day." This BBS contains no user serviceable parts; see licensed
technician before removing cover or striking. No lifeguard on duty.

For children under 12, give half usual dosage. May be habit forming.
No refunds or exchanges. Failure to follow appropriate safety
precautions can and may result in mutilation or death. Contents under
extreme pressure; do not puncture or incinerate this BBS. Void where prohibited. State and local taxes may apply. Avoid contact with eyes or
mucous membranes. Not responsible for demonic possession and/or control
of users.

Read all instructions before using this BBS. This service not
available in all areas. This BBS is not a bank or insured by the FDIC.
If skin rash or other irritation develops, discontinue usage and contact
your physician immediately. Do not use this BBS while bathing. For
EXTERNAL use only. Not responsible for lost or misplaced mail or other
personal items.

Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
No warranties are either express, or implied. Do not use this BBS under
the influence of mind-altering drugs and/or alcohol unless those
substances have already kicked in. For best results, time your
medications properly. Not responsible for psychiatric care needed as a
result of using this BBS. In case of accidental ingestion, do not
induce vomiting.

Not responsible for incidental or consequential damages, or for acts
of God. It is illegal in some states to use this BBS while sleeping.
Temporary insanity may result from the use/misuse of this BBS. The
Supreme Court has ruled that using this BBS while performing surgery may
be a violation of Federal Laws and restrictions.

This disclaimer is not valid in Borneo, Outer Mongolia, on any day
ending in "Y" of months which do not end in "R," and within five miles
of the lower Volga River. Void where applicable by law. Do not fold,
spindle or mutilate. Try not to step on the cracks. Avoid overdusting.
DO NOT IMMERSE IN WATER!
--- SBBSecho 3.20-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (316:36/9)