Proof of Stupidity

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods.

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Gee, that's
the only time I have to work on my hair)

2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase
necessary. Details inside". (Evidently, the shoplifter
special)

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how ...?)

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions:
Defrost." (But it's *just* a suggestion)

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box) "Do
not turn upside down". (Oops, too late!)

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating". (As night follows the day ...)

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body". (But wouldn't this save even more time?)

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a
lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5-year-olds with colds off those forklifts.)

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (One
would hope)

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor
use only". (As opposed to what?)

11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other
use". (I gotta admit, I'm curious).

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". (NEWS
FLASH,Hello!)

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta).

14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does
not enable you to fly". (I don't blame the company, I blame
parents for this one.)

15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with
your hands or genitals". (Was there a chance of this happening
somewhere?)
--- SBBSecho 3.20-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (316:36/9)