********AN AGGIE MOTHER WRITING A LETTER TO HER SON********

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing
this letter slowly, because I know that you can't read fast. You won't
know the house when you come home----we've moved.

It was a lot of trouble moving -- the most difficult part was the
bed. You see, the man wouldn't let us take it in the taxi. It wouldn't
have been too bad, if your father hadn't been sleeping in it at the
time.

About your father --- he has a lovely job. He has 500 men under him,
as he's cutting grass at the cemetery.

Your sister got herself engaged to that fellow that she has been
going out with. He gave her a beautiful ring with three stones
missing.

Our neighbors, the Brown's, started to keep pigs. We got wind of it
this morning. I got my appendix out, and a dishwasher put in.

There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in, but
it is not working too good. Last week, I put four shirts into it,
pulled the chain, and I haven't seen the shirts since.

Your little brother came home from school crying yesterday. All the
boys in his school have new suits. We can't afford to buy him a new
suit, but we are going to buy him a new hat, and let him sit in the
window.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven't heard yet whether
it is a boy or girl, so I won't know if you're an Aunt or an Uncle.

Your Uncle Amos was drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in Dominion brewery. Four of his workmates dove in to save him, but he fought them
off bravely. As he went down for the last time, they said that you could
see a great big smile across his face. We decided to cremate his body,
but that proved to be a mistake, as it took three days to put out the
ensuing fire.

Kate is now working in Grand Falls. She has been there now for six
weeks. I'm sending her some clean underwear, as she says that she's in
the same shift since she started.

Your father didn't have much to drink at Christmas. I put a bottle of
Castor Oil in his pint of beer. It kept him going until New Years Day.
I went to the doctor on Thursday, your father came with me. The doctor
put a small tube into my mouth, and told me not to open it for 10
minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

It only rained twice last week, first for three days, and then for
4 days. Monday was so windy, one of the chickens laid the same egg 4
times.

We had a letter yesterday from the undertaker. He said that if the
last installment wasn't paid on your grandmother within 7 days, "Up
She Comes".

I must close now --- because the plumber is coming to repair the pipes,
and there is a shocking smell.

Your loving Mother.

P.S. I was going to send you some money, but I had already sealed the
envelope.
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (316:36/20)

********AN AGGIE MOTHER WRITING A LETTER TO HER SON********

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know that I am still alive. I am writing
this letter slowly, because I know that you can't read fast. You won't
know the house when you come home----we've moved.

It was a lot of trouble moving -- the most difficult part was the
bed. You see, the man wouldn't let us take it in the taxi. It wouldn't
have been too bad, if your father hadn't been sleeping in it at the
time.

About your father --- he has a lovely job. He has 500 men under him,
as he's cutting grass at the cemetery.

Your sister got herself engaged to that fellow that she has been
going out with. He gave her a beautiful ring with three stones
missing.

Our neighbors, the Brown's, started to keep pigs. We got wind of it
this morning. I got my appendix out, and a dishwasher put in.

There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in, but
it is not working too good. Last week, I put four shirts into it,
pulled the chain, and I haven't seen the shirts since.

Your little brother came home from school crying yesterday. All the
boys in his school have new suits. We can't afford to buy him a new
suit, but we are going to buy him a new hat, and let him sit in the
window.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning. I haven't heard yet whether
it is a boy or girl, so I won't know if you're an Aunt or an Uncle.

Your Uncle Amos was drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in Dominion brewery. Four of his workmates dove in to save him, but he fought them
off bravely. As he went down for the last time, they said that you could
see a great big smile across his face. We decided to cremate his body,
but that proved to be a mistake, as it took three days to put out the
ensuing fire.

Kate is now working in Grand Falls. She has been there now for six
weeks. I'm sending her some clean underwear, as she says that she's in
the same shift since she started.

Your father didn't have much to drink at Christmas. I put a bottle of
Castor Oil in his pint of beer. It kept him going until New Years Day.
I went to the doctor on Thursday, your father came with me. The doctor
put a small tube into my mouth, and told me not to open it for 10
minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

It only rained twice last week, first for three days, and then for
4 days. Monday was so windy, one of the chickens laid the same egg 4
times.

We had a letter yesterday from the undertaker. He said that if the
last installment wasn't paid on your grandmother within 7 days, "Up
She Comes".

I must close now --- because the plumber is coming to repair the pipes,
and there is a shocking smell.

Your loving Mother.

P.S. I was going to send you some money, but I had already sealed the
envelope.
--- SBBSecho 3.20-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (316:36/9)